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The real player

We live in an RPG,
we the avatar thinking that we are the one who is in control.
Never knowing the actual player driving us.
The avatar sees no score,
he sees no maps,
he sees nothing
cause he is trapped,
Trapped in this game world,
one life to the next.
Reincarnating in different times,
in different forms.
Living whole lifetimes accumulating score.

The score called karma. The player, the soul.

Far away somewhere

Far away somewhere, when the day goes to rest,
The dusk sneaks up, shyly.
Like a newlywed bride.
And here, in the courtyard of my dreams,
someone lights up a lamp

Sometimes, when with no reason at all
my breaths become heavy
and my eyes well up with tears unshed
With a flutter, lovingly, someone caresses me,
but I cannot see her..
I cannot see her..

Sometimes these hearts
are unable to touch
and somewhere else,
emerge connections deep and old
The problem was such,
it made my own heart the enemy
belonging to me, yet bearing the pain of another.

Only my heart knows all my secrets deep
How I lost all my dreams, so golden
These dreams, these alone are mine,
I won't ever let their reminisces go
away from me

Untitled Poem #1

Sitting and wondering,
on this chair
Alone in this room
I wallow in despair

This unexplained feeling of doom,
this mind numbing
spirit leeching gloom




Music

Transcending both
time and space
it takes me to
another place
to a vacation, a holiday
while I am right where I stay

Speaking what can't be expressed
Soothing the mind,
giving it a rest
Healing the heart,
making it whole
Like a heavenly balm
soothing my soul
-gautamji 

Lost with my thoughts

I feel lost at sea
No land in sight
Helpless to help myself
I've got no respite

Alone with my thoughts
what a dangerous place to be
My thoughts have become
my greatest enemy

I am running but going nowhere
running on a treadmill of dread
I am trying but I can't escape
this horrendous woeful place

They go around in a loop
coming back where they started
like a noose around my neck
pulling me to despair

My process in learning a new language - Spanish

Phase One : Introduction
By introduction I mean, getting the basics of the language or target subject. If it is a language, as it is in my case, learn some common words and basic grammar, getting used to its sounds, its rhythm, and its tones, being able to recognize some words in that language's songs and rapid conversation. By some words I mean at least two out of ten words.
This phase can be tricky, it has the highest chance of drop out, and if you drop out in this phase you forget whatever little you have learned yet as if it was never there.
Duolingo is a great resource for this phase. After completing the duolingo Spanish skill tree, I know some vocabulary and some grammar.I can make out common words in Spanish songs and Spanish conversations between native speakers, though stringing the words together in my head and understanding the meaning still takes time.I am able to read Spanish and most of the time understand what is written.I can also translate basic sentenc…