Gautamji

 My ignorance astounds me, my naivety confounds me. I have a head full of ideas which make little sense and a heart full of optimistic hope.  I am afraid that the world is not what I imagine it to be, the little I have seen seems to prove that to me. Yet I dream, for what else could it be? Untouched from any semblance of reality. For what is reality other than what I make of it? A shared delusion we have all agreed upon, or something more individualistic. Either way I say, I'll take life as it comes, day by day. There after all, is a morning after every night, the first rays of the sun shining, piercing through the dark with their light. Yesterday as I showered, I stood there in silence, staring into the bucket of water, watching its surface ripple, pondering upon the nature of happiness and how it seems it never last while sadness prevails steadfast. Every time I feel joy, I can be sure that it won't last. But this listless melancholy has stood by me steadfast. It is funny ho...

  I feel like sitting in a dark room, with no light and no sound sitting all alone with doors shut, and nobody around. I feel this hollow feeling in my chest, a chill on my back. Wrapped in a blanket snug, I want to hug a pillow tight. In person or online. I don't want to speak or interact, not on the phone, email or chat. Is this fear I am not sure. Can't express my self, I feel insecure. Friends I have none, only acquaintances. No one to share my fears and pain with. I was born alone, in this world, I am still all alone. So many people around But I am lonely in this crowd. In this darkness, all I can do, is to close my eyes and pray. That a ray of light will take my night And turn it into day. Pray for the human, I am. To be free like a bird gliding in the heavens. That lion in my chest released from the shackles it is in, Roaming free without fear or repression. Free to express, talk and have friends. Friends who will be true. We will stick t...