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I feel like sitting in a dark room, with no light and no sound
sitting all alone with doors shut, and nobody around.

I feel this hollow feeling in my chest, a chill on my back.
Wrapped in a blanket snug, I want to hug a pillow tight.
In person or online.
I don't want to speak or interact,
not on the phone, email or chat.

Is this fear I am not sure.
Can't express my self,
I feel insecure.

Friends I have none, only acquaintances.
No one to share my fears and pain with.
I was born alone, in this world, I am still all alone.
So many people around
But I am lonely in this crowd.

In this darkness, all I can do,
is to close my eyes and pray.
That a ray of light will take my night
And turn it into day.

Pray for the human, I am.
To be free like a bird gliding in the heavens.
That lion in my chest released from the shackles it is in,
Roaming free without fear or repression.

Free to express, talk and have friends.
Friends who will be true. We will stick together like glue.

To find the one, whom I would trust with all my heart
and be trusted in turn, No secrets between us. No taboos.
A true deep connection.
I doubt that would ever happen but I have hope.

Hope is why I am still here. In this world that seems so bare.

I don't know how to open up. How to interact. It's all too superficial.
This world is a beautiful illusion.

The self, the soul, they say, is the ultimate truth, but like countless others I have yet to find it. To feel that connection and finally have satisfaction.
My only hope and salvation.



Or maybe it's just gas...

Comments

  1. I can't go away and pursue my way after reading that. Even if it's an old text.

    Because this shriek is just heartbreaking: humans are wandering in loneliness.

    It's soothing, to know that you're still alive. It means that there is a secret door, somewhere.

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